Take what resonates and leave the rest...
I have had a great deal of trouble grounding myself lately. I have been feeling very floaty and untethered, even after meditation. This has been going on for months and I had gotten so used to it that it became my norm for the day – even though I increasingly could not connect with Mother Earth in the ways that had previously felt so good and welcoming for me. I received confirmation on this when I did an IET session with Candie Toska from Soul Path Awakenings in Rocky River, OH. She could see, right away, that I was having trouble grounding and the reasons for it. She did her best to clear the energies that were blocking my path to grounding successfully and after my session we sat and talked a little more as I held tightly onto a large smoky quartz crystal that helped me to descend.
I felt so much better after that session. My limbs were looser, the crick and limited motion in the left side of my neck was gone and I felt understood because someone could see past my human form and into my energy field. Her confirmations on my life, on things she could not have known about me and the subsequent clearing were a calming and confirming influence on my psyche. I hope to learn IET and more from her…
Anyway, that experience was only the gateway to the kind of deeper grounding that Spirit was leading me to practice. I intuitively knew I had more work to do. Since my visit to Candie’s office, I have been wearing copper jewelry (per her recommendation) and tucking a small smoky quartz crystal in my pocket day and night to help me ground. I found it especially helpful through all of the heavy, New-Earth-shaping energies that have been coming in during the month of January 2021 but I was still experiencing those “floaty feels” of being able to successfully connect with the etheric side of my being but unable to ground it fully within my physical, human self. It is a wonky feeling that leaves you with an awareness of slight imbalance in your body and your chakra system - especially in the third eye. I felt like a balloon with an exceptionally long string that is loosely tethered to the highest tree branch. Without a shorter string and not being closer to the ground with a more secure connection, that balloon is subject to the wind, weather, and the sun. It gets batted around in all manner of patterns that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. But if you shorten the string and tie it to a rock that sits on the ground, the balloon is protected and the tempest it was previously subject to is removed. Aaaaah… sweet calm.
So, while wearing the copper and using the smoky quartz daily was making me more aware of my need to connect with Mother Earth, I wasn’t really making any more progress than what I experienced with Candie. I had been praying on it and asking God, my guides and angels for help with this and I got my answer last night.
Spirit reminded me of a book I had read over 20 years ago on American Indian spirituality. I did not fully understand it back then but what I learned from that book would later become what I needed to not only ground myself but also bring my internal Masculine and Feminine selves together in balance. The book (I don’t recall the title or author) explained the masculine and feminine parts within each of our psyches (something I blog about often) and even went so far to say that if there’s a particular person you see in your dreams, in your mind’s eye or a particular look that you are attracted to in the opposite sex, this likely represents your opposite masculine or feminine self.
When I was in college, this image of a young man about my own age with long, thick dark hair and soulful brown eyes began to appear in my thoughts. When I saw anyone resembling that description, I felt instantly attracted to them. The interesting thing was that none of these guys had the least bit of interest in me. More often than not, they wouldn't even give me the time of day. I thought it was strange at the time but after reading that book, I realized the man in my thoughts and visions was the masculine version of myself. I also figured that Spirit was blocking me from interactions with men who resembled him because they were devoid of the qualities I needed to connect with. Kind of like a Trojan horse - they looked like the real deal but it wasn't going to lead me anywhere good. Grateful to look back and see the protection I was given until I could understand.
This book went on to suggest that the way to blend with this part of your spiritual nature was to etherically join with them - to weave and melt together the kundalini energies that fuel the yin and the yang within us; essentially, to make love with your internal masculine or feminine self in order to join in a union – a union that brings in wholeness and grounding between your etheric and physical self. This can take many forms depending on how you are led and where you are on your journey. Some experience it as blending of the two energies during meditation, others come into it as a physical, sexual union complete with orgasms and a deep dive into their energetic world. Although I travelled down the latter, this can manifest in any way that is right for you. It is an act of sacred sexuality, sacred union, sacred blending and wholeness - and for me - this coalescence finally opened up my ability to ground myself.
In fact, it even released some past life energy that came forth in a flurry of images of faces that were somehow familiar to me but that I had never see before in this life. They were all vastly different from one another and did not seem to be related in any way. These images also seemed to stretch over a large span of time and location as they had varying clothing and appearance. I quickly recognized that I needed to clear and transmute all that was represented there because it had been “loosened up” for me to recognize and release. A short while later, after I had used my own methods for transmutation, the images left my meditation and I began to feel like that balloon I wrote about earlier, was slowly descending. At first, it seemed like a rough descent and I was having trouble negotiating it, but I asked Jesus, Archangel Michael and Angel Daniel to help me and it gradually became smoother. When it was all over, I heard in my head, “you are on the ground now”. I breathed in deep and, determinately, felt the comfort and balance restored between my Higher and Physical Selves.
These heavy energies that have been ushered in during the first few weeks of 2021 may have been rough, but they are assisting us all in doing exactly what I experienced so beautifully last night – balancing our masculine and feminine traits so we can move forward in wholeness within ourselves. A healing that brings union to two camps that can, at times, wage war on each other. This balancing and healing are like a peace treaty between the masculine and feminine within ourselves and helps us to step out of our egos and into the successful, internal intertwining of compromise, respect, integrity and self-love. Potent stuff – and not without its own drama and fascination.
In fact, it can cause some rather severe cognitive dissonance making some feel borderline psychotic. Thankfully, we have Spirit to turn to and many gifted healers, like Candie Toska, to help us dispel what we no longer need to hold onto. We have online journals like mine that share experiences in the hope that someone will find gratification in reading a similar story to their own. And most of all, we have God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit (aka Spirit) and an army of angels and Archangels that are ready to guide – all we need to do is ask - guidance that will lead to peace, the peace we are all meant to have.
Today is the morning after my intimate joining with my masculine self and my floaty feelings are mostly gone. In fact, I sense that all is descending like a sparkly, ethereal light into the earth, into the trees, their roots and enjoying the quiet stillness that is to be found there. I’m grateful for this peace it affords me and look toward what new wisdom it is bringing in.
Seems obvious but there’s something you should know. I’m not a medical or psychological professional so anything I write and publish comes from my own experiences. I share these experiences to help others open their mind and think a bit. It’s not a substitute for sound medical and psychiatric advice from a professional - just a laywoman looking for understanding and reporting on what she found at this point on her journey. We all need spiritual guidance as much as we need medical help so use your discernment to get what you need when you need it.
And in my MeWe Group: Bent To Balanced
Also on YouTube: Bent To Balanced