• Soul Puppy

The Lotus: A Folded Soul Opening Up To The Divine

Updated: Dec 20, 2019



“When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate...”


Sound familiar? Ever felt that way? William Shakespeare wrote those words over 400 years ago and we all can still read them and relate to how his life was going that day. The phrases are more flowery than what we use now but it's easy to discern that he was feeling pretty down and out when he started writing that poem. Miraculously though, by the end of the sonnet, he finds deliverance - a door that opens up to revelation; a door that opens him up to love.


Aren't those the greatest moments? Just when you think all is lost, you feel cast out and cast down, something beautiful steps in to disarm you and open up your soul to a new truth. The stumbling blocks you were encountering suddenly get cleared out. Your cries of injustice, intolerance or whatever karmic torment you’re experiencing, fall silent as the truth is revealed. If you’re smart, you’ll stay humble and listen.

When I woke up from a very restful sleep one morning, a beautiful, loving feeling came over me as I laid quietly in the bed. I knew instantly that I was picking up on the soul energy of someone special to me. Their Higher Self was reaching out. The depth of love, compassion and acceptance from this energy were beyond comforting. It felt so warm and heady and wafted through my body and my own soul like soft steam rising from a hot cup of coffee. It held me gently all the while saying, “This is my love for you”. I wanted to hold on to it forever and that's why I was surprised to have this completely intoxicating energy of love interrupted by my own thoughts and feelings of being uncomfortable. Huh? Isn't this the feeling everyone is after - one of complete and unconditional love? I was absolutely open to feeling it so how could I also be uncomfortable?

That was when God opened my eyes to show me that I have been my own stumbling block to receiving love – really receiving it. I had no idea how to open myself up to accept the energetic love that passes so effortlessly between our souls - staying quiet while the gift of love is bestowed, soaking it in and feeling grateful, peaceful and serene during the receiving. No wonder lasting, deep love has been so elusive for me. I’ve been unwilling to accept it in full. Me, with all of my spirituality in place and all of the growth I've worked at so hard - my seeking and nurturing of sacred knowledge and the understanding which I thought I had achieved about love. But I never saw that my biggest stumbling block, journeying for over half a century in search of the kind of love that comes with a deep spiritual connection, was myself not being able to receive and accept love as a gift.

I can see now where and why some of the men I dated fell off and disappeared on me - because I couldn’t connect with them in the way I longed for. I subconsciously blocked the energetic love they tried to give me, feeling too uncomfortable to receive it. I likely felt unworthy of it, too. I think that some of them tried to explain this to me but their words weren’t enough – they probably didn’t understand it entirely either but they could definitely feel it and their senses told them to just let go.

In the midst of this realization and wanting very much to hold on to this gift of love that I was receiving so strongly, I quietly asked God to help me stay in the moment. Please God, let what I’m feeling wash over me and through me. Let it change me for my highest good and help me receive it, to accept it, with calm, joy and gratefulness. Lower my walls and defenses. Open my hands to hold it and cherish it always. I want to experience what love is. I want to fully receive this gift by unwrapping it slowly and letting it permeate my soul until it’s finished giving - to feel its depth and know that the giver is feeling satisfied not only by the giving but by the fullness in which I’ve received it. I want them to feel secure that I can accept and protect their own vulnerability in loving me. Help me to reciprocate when the time is right and they are ready to receive me and my gift of love in the same way.


Why am I telling you all of this? It’s because loving ourselves is actually a hard concept to apply and it took me 52 years to figure that out. I’m hoping to save you a little heartache by sharing how I was opened up to what receiving and accepting love really is - whether it comes from yourself or someone else. How beautiful that this lesson would unfold for me energetically rather than physically. I suppose it’s a little more private that way, giving me the space to think on it, connect through my spirit and realize what kind of expectations I had been putting on myself when it came to love. I thought I was supposed to be strong and take the lead in love. Those I love were supposed to care for me but I was the one in charge of caring for the relationship and that was as much as I could accept from anyone else. I managed to keep everyone at arm’s length that way. I was far, far too deep in my Masculine Energy and imbalance ensued.


Hindus have a very nice story about “opening up your soul” that surrounds the symbolism of the Lotus flower. “As a lotus is able to emerge from Muddy Waters, unspoiled and pure, it is considered to represent a wise and spiritually enlightened quality in a person; it is representative of somebody who carries out their tasks with little concern for any reward and with a full liberation from attachment. It is very interesting how the open flower and the unopened Lotus bud forms are associated with human traits. The unopened bud is representative of a folded soul that has the ability to unfold and open itself up to the divine truth.” (https://www.lotusflowermeaning.net/)


This was my message that morning. “Karen,”, it said. “Open up.”


Shakespeare figured this out, too. By the time he finished his 29th Sonnet he was reveling in Heaven On Earth, having run the gamut on emotional blockages.

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

(Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Take from it what you will, but I see some synchronicities in those lyrics with what I experienced that chilly winter morning. I’m more open now than I ever was to exploring love while still reining in my expectations. Expectations, after all, just get in the way of the true joy in receiving and acceptance. Love is so much more fun when there are happy surprises along the way.

Next time that energetic love winds it way back into my day and it wakes me up with a potent kiss, I will enjoy actively practicing the receiving of it. And when it's given to me in person, I'll be ready. Most of all, I hope that my acceptance of these energetic gifts will help the Giver to lower their defenses and feel safe in receiving and accepting the love I wish to share with them.


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