My Little Secret
Updated: Jan 16
It’s actually a big step for me to come out and say this publicly but, here goes…. On occasion, I listen to Tarot Readers on YouTube. There are a few ladies I watch who are beyond gifted and often, when listening to them, I am infinitely aware that I’m tapping into the Divine – it’s a very fulfilling, energetic experience for me. “But Karen,” you ask, “how does your traditional church upbringing work with that?” Answer: It doesn’t - and that’s probably why I am not currently attending church right now. I’m on a hiatus from physically being in worship but that being said, every minute of my day is still spent communing with the Divine.
I’ve always been drawn to the metaphysical side of faith and I find it comforting to know that nearly every religion has a group of seekers that feels the same. They each have their own ways of exploring the esoteric as it relates to their view of God but the essence of their search is the same – they wish to connect to the Divine on the supernatural level.
From a young age, I had strong intuition and empathic abilities which gave rise to dreams and visions and spiritual encounters. It’s a trait that runs through my family so nobody really blinks an eye when one of us has something out-of-this-world happen to us. However, I did have a few scary incidents happen when I was a little girl where I actually saw spirits manifest in front of me and I made the conscious decision, around the age of 8, NOT to dive deep into my spiritual gifts and rejected being able to see beyond the physical. As compensation, I believe that Spirit showed me how to stay closer to the surface and developed my ability to empathically and intuitively read people (especially those who want to be understood but would turn on you in a split second if you pointed out their pain to them). And because we didn’t have anyone close to us who could guide me through the deeper gifts I had rejected, I was fine with flourishing in the shallower end of the pool – although, I often knew there were things I could know if I just opened myself up to them.
Part of my Spiritual Awakening has been about re-opening myself to these gifts. And that has meant leaving my traditional church upbringing behind… not because I reject the doctrine or even the people. It’s because I recognize that my beliefs on spiritual energy and my experiences of metaphysical confirmations on my Divine Feminine path make my beautiful, traditional church-loving friends uncomfortable. And, as a result, I feel a bit lonely and unable to share with them all that I have learned. I still value the wisdom of my Bible and the teachers I’ve had along the way but my deep dive into my faith that I began years ago has now given rise to a deep dive into my spirituality. I’ve been opened up to seeing parallels in thought about topics, like, sharing your gifts, aligning your thoughts and actions with your spiritual path, and realizing that revelations may appear to me across many religions – not just Christianity but in Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism – and that fascinates me.
It’s a matter of discernment to determine which piece of wisdom from these teachings has been laid out for me and how I will integrate it into my life. However, I do need to qualify that for me, I have to stay close to my relationship with Christ in order to blossom in my gifts – I’ve been made keenly aware of this through moments where negative energies have tried to de-rail me. I call on Christ, on the Guides He has sent me for this journey, when something negative tries to enter my dreams, my life or my thoughts. When I do this, they disappear in the same veiled way that they creeped in. For that kind of rescue that has never failed me, I am eternally grateful and recognize where my loyalty lies.
Everybody’s journey is different, though. I think success comes when you finally surrender to the nagging of your soul. That truth of who you are, what you are meant to be doing in this lifetime and why you are here, eventually settles in and blooms like crazy when you surrender to knowing that you are Divinely Guided. Everything is going to work out as it should and you can be joyful in the fact that everything is going to be alright. That’s a lot of freedom!
I’m going to assume that if you’re reading my blog, you’ve gone through or are going through the Dark Night of the Soul where you are purging issues and pain that no longer serve you. Maybe you’re even on the other side of it and feeling healed and restored. Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Now What?”. From my experience, now is the time you’ll be hearing and seeing messages from your Soul about pursuing your gifts. You may be feeling a longing to share what you’ve learned and be a force for good in the world. My calling led me to create this blog and as I deposit my energies into growing it and expressing myself, I’m seeing that my stories are resonating with others. My blogs are giving others permission to explore their own spirituality and beliefs – it is a resource I’ve opened myself up to sharing and as a result, I’m experiencing the blessings of being helpful in the most lovely ways every day.
It’s a risk to open up as I have. But once you really step out of the fear that holds you back in the energy of Distorted Feminine or Masculine, your true beliefs take hold and doubt rinses away. You realize you are bathed in a cleansing light of the Divine Feminine or Masculine energies and you become willing to step up and show out – especially when you recognize the particular Spiritual Mission you are called to. The first Book of Timothy explains it like this – give yourself over to your gifts, don’t neglect them and persevere in your beliefs. It’s also important to stick close to what is good and use your discernment to recognize what doesn’t resonate for you. I believe that God uses many sources to wrangle us in to the Divine Purpose for our lives and, for me, that has included using a wide variety of influences. From my relationship with Jesus to eastern practices of meditation, to seeing sequential and repeating numbers everywhere and yes, even my little secret of watching and receiving confirmations through my Tarot readers on YouTube.
As I’ve said before in a previous blog, “I figure there's something to be gained from any source that's trying to be helpful and encouraging” so don't be surprised that I feel as I do. If you think I'm full of baloney, then thanks for stopping by and good luck in your search. Please don't take the time to send me scathing criticisms. I'm just presenting ideas here to feed your soul and ignite your journey and my own. Conscious, adult conversations are welcome - bashing of belief systems is not.
That being said, what’s your little secret that’s come out of your Spiritual Ascension and Awakening? I’d love to know. Be sure to leave me a comment or send me an email with your thoughts. Much love to you!
And in my MeWe Group: Bent To Balanced
Also on YouTube: Bent To Balanced