Feeling Alone On The Twin Flame Path
Right now, there is a big trend in the Divine Feminine Collective (Twin Flames in particular) who are at the end of their rope. They are exhausted from a long journey of self-exploration, karma purging, growth, and healing. They have opened themselves up to a metaphysical soul trek directly confronting the sources of their own (very) personal issues and destructive patterns plus those of their past lives and their ancestral lineage. That's a hell of a lot of work and conscious effort! I have been part of this divinely guided trip and sometimes feel like I have been tossed around on a ship at sea. At times, calmer waters brought peace, clarity and healing – even gratitude. But let’s face it, purging that much stuff in the span of a few years is flat out fatiguing. Most people work on only a fraction of this kind of healing in one lifetime – the Twin Flame journey, however, packs several lifetimes of learning into a few short years. And while most everybody who has been through this spiritual quantum leap has made it to the other side whole and much better off for the (continued) experience, what we found on the other side often times makes us scratch our heads.
There are those who thought slogging though their own clearing and transmuting of karma would hold a prize at the end – specifically, their Divine Counterpart would be ready for union with them and the bliss of homecoming would begin. That is what I call the Twin Flame fairy tale – a narrative popularized on social media and certain spiritual circles that asserts that Divine Union will be the culmination of your hard-won spiritual progress and you will live happily ever after… together. But that version of the journey skips over a whole lot of messy karmic purging, self-love mastery, understanding of your alignment, the process of detachment from expectations and attachments to outcomes and more. It also does not consider the journey of the Beloved, how much time he/she may need to get their own head on straight and if that will actually be accomplished in this lifetime. Yep, you read that right. Some Twin Flame counterparts, plunged into separation, may not come around to the idea of finding their final stages of healing with their soul’s counterpart in this lifetime. I know. Ouch.
I didn’t initially believe this news when I heard it. In fact, I became very angry at the notion and the messenger. But time, experience, and some very enlightening spirit guided experiences (see my blog on that here), as well as telepathic messages received from my own Soul Partner and his Higher Self, have shown me that his deep pains are tougher to clear out than he bargained for. No union coming forth at this time.
I had accepted this as fact, determined to hold space, belief and faith for his healing but it was time to shelf the fairy tale ending. I decided to trade it in for an exciting expansion into healing modalities and metaphysics. I can still lay claim to my union energies but allow my heart and mind to remain open to where they will take me. It has been a beautiful and empowering space to live in but, as it usually does, this Twin Flame journey grabbed me by the collar and swung me back to a place of reconsidering the path of my own connection. This is the part that Divine Feminines bemoan and sigh over because it is a constant continuum of challenging what we think we know.
This is how it happened. I woke up yesterday morning unusually disinterested in accomplishing anything with the day ahead. I typically have a small agenda of items I want or need to get done and, as a caregiver to 4 people in my family, I also try to have some contact with at least 2 of them every day. But this day felt like I was the only person in the world, nothing I did was going to matter in any way, shape or form and I might as well just lay in bed. But it was not relaxing. In fact, I felt like a heavy weight was on me and that a depression was growing. I meditated in an attempt to connect with Spirit and find some understanding of this indescribable feeling in which I was immersed. The result of the meditation was pleasant and kept me even keel but my lack of interest in anything – anything, at all – persisted.
Finally, I made myself get dressed and run out to do a few errands but when I got back home, I found myself back in bed. This time, even more depressed - over what, I really did not know. I decided to just let this feeling flow and see where it would take me. I thought about clearing and transmuting the depression energy but intuitively felt the best way to clear it was to step out of the way and allow it to run its course. This feeling was so different - I felt like I may be channeling something from my Soul Partner. That awareness expanded to the feeling the that I was walking through this depression alongside my Soul Partner. And then a revelation message came through. This is what I heard…
The Divine Masculine has spent so much time believing that the Divine Feminine is someone to avoid. He has believed that all that she offers is undesirable, a trap, a lifestyle he could never live up to. He has felt he did not have the tools to be in such a deep and soul connecting relationship and because he had closed himself off from his heart, this electric connection he felt with her was overwhelming and unwanted. But healing has come to the energies and entities that held the DM in these lies. It is time for him to consider that the Divine Feminine holds the key to the healing the Divine Masculine has already begun. She may not be the only path to growth, but it is necessary to reconnect himself with her to walk into his own fullness – to become whole.
After that message was relayed, the depression began to lift. I then had a vision, kind of an amusing one, of a desert landscape where hundreds of heads popped up out of the ground, much like a whack-a-mole game or cartoon characters would appear. They had a little bit of ground perched on their heads and they were only peeking out so that only their eyes could be seen - as if they had been buried, living underground and finally peeking out to breathe in something fresh. There was a feeling of wanting more than what they’ve been living in.
When that vision dissipated, Spirit brought in a song to me to wrap up the whole experience: Is This Love by Whitesnake. Spirit loves bringing in the oldies to me. My Guides must be big 80’s fans. Anyway, the song is about someone who is realizing that he has already found the love he has been searching for and he seems pretty astonished by it. It is like he never believed that it was really available to him even though it was right in front of him the whole time. Kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz – you always had the power to return to what you know was meant for you.
I’ve had channeling like this before, and I’ve shared it in other blogs, but I can’t say for sure how much it reflects my own Soul Connection and how much it represents the DM Collective. A personal confirmation with him has yet to come my way. My DM and I have not spoken for 2-1/2 years and while I would very much like to see this situation mended, so far, he seems to prefer the silence. It has been a painful realization but a divinely gifted love within me still flows for him. If I were still caught up in the lower vibrations of 3D living, I’d be a big, pouty, angry Distorted Feminine mess over it. But my Ascension journey has helped me to develop and rise into 5D consciousness of a Sacred Feminine existence. I like it there much better, too. From that perch, I can clearly see his soul, his nobility of purpose in deciding to come into this lifetime and create a new way of loving and living for the Divine Masculine. It has been damn messy, but I know he is Spirit Guided even when he’s unaware of it - some of the stories that he has told me of his past confirm this. In addition, in this place, I can embody the unconditional love I became aware of when we first met. My heart chakra and my higher heart chakra open within and because of this unconditional love and I have actually felt that state of bliss, Heaven on Earth, that is integral to Ascending higher on the spiritual path. Definitely set your intentions to work toward this because it is amazing when it comes in.
But, what to do about future union? Well, prior to this experience from yesterday, I had been saying prayers for and calling in my Twin Ray. This is an even higher soul connection than a Twin Flame. It is a connection that transcends the boundaries of your astrological natal chart (the enormous space in which you live your life). The light rays can be complicated to explain so I will leave that up to someone who knows even more about them than me. You can find more information here: Archangel Michael on Twin Flames, Twin Rays, and Soul Mates.
Suffice it to say that Twin Ray's are born on the same light ray you were and are also working in the same light ray you are. I felt that my Twin Flame did not want to explore our connection or experience deeper spiritual love with me and since I definitely want to participate in that kind of intimacy, on the advice of a trusted master teacher, I began calling in my Twin Ray. But of course, God had to bring in an alternative view by taking me through yesterday’s paces so… what’s a spiritual minded gal supposed to do?
Well, the intention for claiming my reunion energies is already out there and so is that call for the Twin Ray. I have years of amazing intentions for my Twin Flame floating around in the ethers and some beautiful soul growth of my own operating in my favor. I think I will take my own advice to step back and just allow these energies to take care of themselves. Seems like a good time for an amazing manifestation to take place. Better grab my popcorn.
Seems obvious but there’s something you should know. I’m not a medical or psychological professional so anything I write and publish comes from my own experiences. I share these experiences to help others open their mind and think a bit. It’s not a substitute for sound medical and psychiatric advice from a professional - just a laywoman looking for understanding and reporting on what she found at this point on her journey. We all need spiritual guidance as much as we need medical help so use your discernment to get what you need when you need it.
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